How I haven't broke (yet)

I am often told, "you're so strong".  But guess what? I feel anything but. I'll share some of my "secrets" to how I keep it together as much as I do. Which let's be real honest, some days is not very much at all.  I mean some days I have laundry done, dishes done, supper ready, kids and hubby cleaned, dogs played with and other days I keep finding pretzels all over my floor, I don't know what that is on my shirt, and there's toilet paper garland at about the 2 1/2 foot eye level because she thinks it's just SO fun! (She's so lucky she's cute.)

The biggest thing I can say and will always say is a mindset.  This is by no means easy.  It takes determination and constant awareness and honesty with yourself about where you are at mentally and what you need to do better.  And you'll never stop doing this.  It's a daily, sometimes hourly thing for me.  But the more you do it, the easier it becomes.  To start, read some self-help/improvement books.  There are several.  And most of the ones I love are geared towards direct sales, but can totally be applied to life in general.  Some of my top picks are:

    
(Side Note - those are affiliate links. Which means if you buy from clicking here, and then purchase as normal, I actually get a percentage of the purchase from Amazon.  So that's awesome too!)

Alright, so you got the books, now you have to read them.  Not a reader? Most if not all of them are available in an audio version or Kindle if you are techy. I prefer a physical book.  Nothing beats feeling a book in your hand and the smell of new pages! But there are no excuses here - read the books! Can't afford them, borrow from a friend or hit up your library.  (We still have those!!)

Which leads right into the next secret, accountability. You have to find a way to be truly accountable.  This means total honesty, even in the ugly parts. So if you have a bad day, slip on your diet, don't do something you said you would, you have to own it.  It's totally liberating. You are human. You will slip up.  Just the way it is. So however you are going to be accountable, a close friend, a journal, --whatever it is to you, be honest about it.

Next secret, Embrace it all. We all focus on "The Big Picture" or only the highlights and good times.  When in reality, the little things are just as important if not more.  Life is short. And nothing is promised except taxes and death.  So you have to find a way to find joy in the mundane.  And it starts by unplugging for a period of time. Trust me, just try it, for a while.

Which you guessed it, my next "tip" - don't try something and give up.  Giving up will always be the easier way. But nothing changes unless something changes.  Dr. Phil says you don't just try something for 2 weeks or 30 days.  If you really want to change, and it's really important to you, you try it until.  Until you reach your goal. Until you change your ways.  Whatever it is you're working on.

Next - take life as it comes. All you REALLY have to deal with is today.  No matter what.  Bill is due next week and you have no money? Loved one is terminal? You have a big surgery coming up? None of that is happening today.  So today, you do today.  Make small steps today to improve today.  And then tomorrow.  And work from there. 

And about today, today is 24 hours. And a lot can change in 24 hours.  So if 24 hours is too much and too hard to process and handle.  Then take 12 hours at a time.  Can't do that either? That's ok, because you're being honest! So then take one hour.  Sit down and honestly say, what do I need to do THIS hour to survive this? And then do that. Maybe that is talking to a trusted friend.  Maybe it's crying.  Maybe it is sleeping.  Sometimes, truly and physically surviving is all that we are capable in that short time frame, and sometimes, that's ok.  After you survive that hour, ask yourself what you need to survive the next hour. And before you know it, you will have done what you think you can not.

My last "secret" is to find the fun.  There is always joy and fun in everyday life.  And if you can't find some, make some. Because I'm telling you, no matter what is going on in your life you have SO many reasons to still smile.  And if you don't think you do, I honestly implore you to find some help.  Because the dark hole you are standing next to is a deep one that is hard to crawl out of alone. Go take a silly snap chat picture. Go sit at a park and listen to the children playing.  Sit in the grass while you feel the sunshine warm your skin.  Find some joy!

We often forget to deal with what's in front of us first.  We can't just go run a marathon tonight.  We have to train and learn how to run a marathon, even though we all know how to physically run.  Life is no different.  Train to be the best you for life.  And don't stop training.