Ring

Ring.  A circle, a symbol, a beautiful piece of jewelry, a shape, part of a sport... a ring is so many things.  And like so many things in this world it means different things to everyone. To me 'ring' reminds me of our wedding bands.  When I was sick, I asked to never have my ring taken off (for surgeries and such) they would tape over it and tape it on to my hand because I think they saw how important it was for me. How much my soul needed that ring to stay there. It sounds funny, and I can't explain it, but it was a real thing for me.

Now that I'm no longer the patient, and I'm the caregiver, ring means even more.  Funny now story.  (but NOT at the time) Like 2 years ago, Jeremiah ended up losing a lot of weight, due to the MS I am sure.  His wedding ring kept falling off.  He lost it once and I was SO angry.  Because those were the same rings we had worn, the same rings we said our vows with. AND of course I had told him that it was going to get lost and until we could resize it, he should just keep it in my jewelry box.  He knew better, I guess. So the ring was lost and he was afraid to tell me.  I noticed eventually and he had to confess.  Then one random, fluke day, I was outside our house and just happened to catch it from the corner of my eye.  (after having prayed and prayed and prayed that I find it) He just HAS to put it back on.  You see where this is going.  Yup, he lost it. Again.  Only this time, he *thinks* it's somewhere maybe in the yard.  Possibly in the gutters or on the roof.  Not really sure exactly.

So, I saved up my Pampered Chef commission last year.  A little from each check so I could pay cash (being debt free is on my bucket list! #DaveRamseyFan) for a new band for him.  We got one very similar, but different colored to his original.  And he's worn it every day since.  Every time anything happens to us, we always say, what did we learn from this.  (The kids HATE that...) and I learned an important lesson.  The ring he wore was important. But it wasn't the ring itself that had meaning to me.  It was the man wearing the ring.  Seeing his ring on his finger reminds me that we are a team and that we are always better together, regardless of the state we are in.  (so far we like MN - haha)

This week has been rough for us. Monday night, Jeremiah lost the ability to walk.  He was not walking well, but Monday night he was not able to walk at all. Remember when you were a kid and you put your forehead on the bat and then spun around and tried to run to first? That's what he looked like.  It was brutal.  Last night, my sister came over and helped me keep him steady on the stool while I cut his hair and shaved him.  I helped him to the shower, where he is finally using assisted devices.  He called out for me really quickly and when I got back in, he was saying, "I can't see, I can't see anything" He has lost all vision, and very suddenly. "It just went black" I rushed him to the ER around 6 last night.  We arrived home around 2 AM this morning. In addition to his vision, he was having much more general confusion, (confusing time and directions) he was having severe impairment in his abilities. (We lovingly refer to them as the 'drunk tests'  Touch your nose then my finger, stand with your feet together, trace your shin with the opposite heal, repeat this phrase, etc)   and he was having some other difficulties as well.  (what is left, right!?)

Today we were back over at Mayo meeting with the therapy team.  He is being referred for ocupational therapy, speech therapy and physical therapy.  They'll also be prescribing him a wheelchair and other gait aids and devices to help him be more independent. The steroids he was given in the ER seem to be helping some. His mood was better today.  His vision seems to slowly be returning and he was actually awake for more than an hour today. Seriously.

Going forward, he will have more steroids every day until Sunday. He will have his new MS drug infusion as well.  He will also have a repeat MRI to track and compare from July's.  (I actually feared he had had a stroke last night...)  We will also be doing many therapy appointments as well.

SO many people are asking what you can do.  So here is my list, and it isn't easy for me to admit I need help...

1. First, pray and pray and pray some more. Not just for us, but for yourselves and those you don't even know.  
2. If you want to help us in a more material way, gas cards as we are making daily (sometimes more) trips to the clinic, and those awesome little parking ramp stamp cards.  (We are now going to have to be going between the campus') and food cards- like Jimmie johns or something near Mayo because he gets hungry during treatment and appointments.  And making sure he eats and drink has been a chore lately. 
3. I can not ask for money outright.  And saying, yes, it's ok to send a gift card still makes me feel... annoyed (with myself ...like I'm not doing my "job" as an adult I guess) That is why I say if you want to help, buy your pampered chef from me.  Host a virtual show with me. Refer me to your friends for pampered chef. Write a review for me on facebook for my Pampered Chef. I don't want to be given something I am capable of working for.  And I can work my business from his bedside while I find comfort and solace in staring at his wedding ring. Much love Friends! <3